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The Letter JHe stood there looking up at the dark looming building wondering why anyone would leave their family here all alone. St. Georges Mental Hospital. James' work for the past two years, and yet every day the place scares him. So many stories linger and yet so few happy faces. He was always fascinated by the sheer size of the place, so large in such a small town.
James' life has turned into one huge schedule. 3:00 pm, go to work. 11:00 pm, come home to the miserably bare apartment. Then wake up around 10:00 am. Every day turning into the other. But yet, James' favorite part was coming to work. He loved nothing more than talking to Carolyn and the other patients in his ward.
After work, he leaves the building into the cold December, Chicago, air. Sometimes he wished he owned a car, but in this small town there was really no need. He glanced up from the ground and seen Katie sitting in her car waiting for him. Katie was James' girlfriend. After 4 years, he still doesn't know why she is still
Demons.She begged for death, she begged for pain.
She begged to be anything but herself.
She kept cutting at that soul in her chest.
Kept beating at that demon in her head.
Day in and day out, nothing changed.
"Get me out of here!" she'd scream.
"I can't take this any longer!"
She held on, she waited for a miracle.
Something, anything to make her feel normal.
She begged for love, begged for mercy.
Kill that devil in your mind.
Hurt your body.
"What more do you want!"
That little voice in her head slowly takes over.
They don't love you.
They don't care if you're happy.
Slice, cut, you need a new scar.
Her arms full of bruises and burns.
She tries anything to feel better.
Stop that voice.
new.this isn't new.
it's the best one you have.
it used to be so hard.
now it's typical.
but still amazing.
maybe it is just happiness,
but it's so different;
it's from you.
it's so simple,
yet can be completely difficult.
you never want to lose it,
hoping it doesn't run away.
it scares you sometimes,
but that's nothing new.
depressed.not this again.
here comes the feeling,
you've thought you forgotten.
it wears you down,
til it sees an opening.
it'll eat at your mind,
unless you let it in.
it'll consume you.
it'll tell you what to do.
it'll make you vulnerable;
you're stronger than that though.
much, much stronger.
it's been there before,
it controlled you.
it made you do worse things.
you lost people.
you even lost yourself.
but this time,
it wont get inside of you.
it wont take over.
maybe it is hidden in there,
waiting for a chance to try again.
waiting til you lose track of it.
it'll come when you least expect it;
least need it.
you'll feel crazy.
you'll push people away,
scare them too.
but it wont get out,
you wont show it.
you'll control it.
you're heart is strong enough,
and you'll never go back to it.
it's like an old friend.
but one you never want to talk to.
you think you miss it.
but it's just tricking you.
it'll go away.
you can get rid of it.
not this again.
secretsOne of my secrets has always been you.
I've always truelly loved you.
I never told anyone
BecauseI was afraid
Of what might happened.
I should of spoke up.
Now your with her
And you look so happy,
But have you seen me,
Or even noticed me!?
I've been all alone
For quite some times.
Sitting in my room
With know one to talk to,
And nothing to do.
I thought of calling you
But afraid of what you might say.
I'm not sure if you're still with her.
I can't build up the courage to ask.
I finally found out you
Haven't been with her for a very long time.
All this time
You could have been mine.
If I would have said something
Or if you would have noticed how I've been.
it barely even bleedsI didn't do it for pain
I didn't do it for any reason
I did it because i wanted to add more
I feel like a retard..
I think they're pretty
So I had to add more
Please don't do it to yourself
You do it way deeper than I will ever
And you know what i'm talking about
But what ever I do
Don't do it to yourself
Because your filled with hate and anger as it is
I don't want to find out you were in the hospital,
Or buried under the ground
I'd cry til my tears run dry
Don't worry about me
When I do it
It barely even bleeds.
And I just want to tell you
Know matter what you do
I'm always here
I wont critisize you
I wont get mad
I will listen to you
And I will try my hardest to help
But don't do anything horrible
Like small ones is fine
But it doesn't mean I want you to
But I will understand
And don't tease your cuts with that oh so pretty tack
Because they will get worse
I love you
And i'm sorry
But I hope you understand
Besides there fine
There little scrapes
That won't even scar
nobodyNobody I know is having problems
Knowing what their pupose to life is,
Their all fine
Non of them even think of that.
Nobody cares about
Because they all think they must
Like the opposite sex no matter what.
Nobody else cares why they
Need... have... or deserve friends
Because things like friendship just happens.
They are all caught up
On school, make-up, guys and love
When the truth is
No one even can define the word "love".
what if?You say everyone
Has a perfect match
To help light the match.
A person to make
Their dreams come true.
A lover who
Loves them too.
You say when you find them,
You'll just know.
And you won't be able
To let them go.
And you'll never find
A love that true.
Well what if that person
For me is you?
just friendshipJust friends.
Best friends for life.
But, I never realized the truth.
The feelings you held inside.
Never would've thought of this.
It's something everyone else knew, but I missed.
You were my shoulder, my voice of reason,
My extra push that I always needed.
My first person to go to, always
But then, you told me that one life changing day
It scared me so I ran away... from it.
The thoughts filled my head.
It felt dead.
I thought we'd lose our friendship
Lose all those memories.
All those times we'd never forget.
I thought and thought and then accepted it.
You told me the truth and didn't deny it.
You were truthful, sensitive, and understanding when i ran.
You never got mad, and stayed my friend.
You truly are the best of my friends.
Even when I wasn't to pretend.
You know when it's real, and when it's not.
You told me what your heart felt, and I accepted the truth.
I denied it, tryed to hide it, but it always came back to me.
That your love for me is more than just frienshi
the truth about growing up
1. It's easier when you don't think.
1. It starts early,
on a cloudy day when you recall
the 'childhood memories' of
two summers ago,
that's when you start your backslide into
2. On the bright side
you won't notice this until you're
good and ripe in age,
so maybe it doesn't matter
3. That tightness in your chest?
The feeling that you're not ready
to take on the rest of your life; it
4. It stews in the pit of your stomach
makes you doubt,
but there will be days when you look back
on the mountains you climbed -
the raging rivers you crossed -
and you'll have a sneaking suspicion you were
more prepared than you thought.
5. There's nothing like your own bed.
6. Laundry will never smell right
without mom's sweat and tears.
But you still have to separate lights from darks,
keep the zippers pulled tight
and the buttons unhooked.
7. There is comfort in your parents' presence.
8. Things change
the future gnaws and rips
Southern modernizationBlack comedy market economy, banana peel political humour, cards with the cartels, the solution free room service and credit the union. Bolivar twist, ding dong dollar under control, valley of the coin desert with no value. Gangsta paradise, the victims are the people. Big mac and cold conflict interference a part of it all. In little Mexico you’d need a high horse to jump the great border wall that boasts its peak.
Viracocha melts waters unlike those it rose from, making waves of out of metal oceans to overtake the current south, re-steel, re-take, tech-mechs the entire south into neo-Machu Picchu, cyberpunk music moulding, reshaping old society into an new age, iron dynasty, fresh coat for an old, ancient look. The coattails of Quetzalcoatl if he were a modern man pull together the merge of future and long passed past..techno temples and the like.
LullabyHush, my baby,
Be still, don't cry.
Lay with me
A little while.
Close your eyes,
Slow your breath.
Hear your heart
Inside your chest?
Your heart is strong,
It guides you well.
Be sure to listen
To what it tells.
I hear him now,
Outside the room.
It won't be long,
He'll find us soon.
Now close your eyes,
Slow your breath,
And rest your head
Upon my chest.
Darkest MoonI celebrate my right to live;
To the dismay of some, perhaps
It should be noted
These words I write, however true
Are only portions of the moon
I’ve decide to shine light upon.
But who am I to preach respect?
Who Am I to preach equality?
An advocate for re-personification
Of the female gender
But exhibits cannibalistic characteristics
Within dark spaces.
I am a shadow
Hidden within an Eggshell, painted pink,
Waiting to hatch.
Is the darkness
The night brought upon us.
CarolineYou loved the fire
of rogues -
imperfect men who shot up
the endings of the day
and drank down
too much beauty.
And like one of them,
you bellied with rebellion,
felt his tense seed
toil where women
and craved his notoriety.
Poor girl -
his verses won the day
and the call of words
was too fickle a lover
for any constant star.
Don't blame yourself -
are more attractive
and all poets are
things to tell you before i leave for collegeto mrs hatcher:
i promise that one day i will write that poem you asked me for
(the only thing you ever asked me for)
and i will finally tell you that you deserve
so much more.
to mr. walker:
i promise that i will not pity you.
i promise that i will not envy you.
i promise that you will always be one of my forget-me-nots and marigolds.
i promise to always be grateful.
i promise to be careful.
i promise to be crazy.
i promise that i will remember what it feels like to be needed
and what it feels like to let someone who needs you down.
i promise that i will never resent you for asking for help
and that i will always be there when you do.
i promise that even sixty years from now,
i will not be surprised to find a letter from you in my mailbox.
i promise to always remember what it felt like to be young and crazy with you,
how scared and lonely we were.
i will remember that we both survived it,
and that we'll survive this, too.
You Were Born Missing SomethingYour skin is glazed with crystals of frost
and your heart's valves are close to
freezing shut tight
from being devoid of something
Though I am torrents of hail, whirling storms,
warm tears streaking,and tornadoes of rage
that flow uncontrollably through my veins
and out of my mouth,
every breath near you is warm
because your words are so cold
I am a natural disaster at its finest
with bones twisted in painful angles
and a crooked spine
you were born spineless
it was a broken sense of beautifulhis smile was like dust caught
in sunlight; more like a dreamy state
of being than reality, like the half-
remembered yesterday that still haunts your
memories because you
didn't want to forget how it
we'd lie on the floor with
slats of light shot across the ceiling, drinking
in the atmosphere
with windows propped open by
books and yellowed pages,
and by the time
we wandered into sleep, we were drunk instead
smell of roses --
he was a broken kind of beautiful, a
beautiful kind of flawed; love-letters, anonymous
and never sent littered
the dusty floorboards beneath his
of what we were before
love found it's way
back around; hours passed in a sunset haze
as my fingers ghosted over words
he'd written half-asleep, ink smudged on his fingers --
they say the music
comes when your heart's about to break, more
like a whimper than a bang; but i've
never heard a song so
sweet, and this sense of lovely has found it's home
inside my bones --
a friend like youWritten with a pen, sealed with a kiss
If you are my friend, please answer me this:
Are we friends, or are we not?
You told me once, but I forgot,
So tell me now, and tell me true,
So i can say, I'm here for you.
Of all my friends I've ever met,
You're the one I wont forget,
And if i die before you do
I'll go to heaven and wait for you.
I'll give the angels back their wings,
and risk the loss of everything.
There isn't a thing i wouldn't do
To have a friend just like you.
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