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The Letter JHe stood there looking up at the dark looming building wondering why anyone would leave their family here all alone. St. Georges Mental Hospital. James' work for the past two years, and yet every day the place scares him. So many stories linger and yet so few happy faces. He was always fascinated by the sheer size of the place, so large in such a small town.
James' life has turned into one huge schedule. 3:00 pm, go to work. 11:00 pm, come home to the miserably bare apartment. Then wake up around 10:00 am. Every day turning into the other. But yet, James' favorite part was coming to work. He loved nothing more than talking to Carolyn and the other patients in his ward.
After work, he leaves the building into the cold December, Chicago, air. Sometimes he wished he owned a car, but in this small town there was really no need. He glanced up from the ground and seen Katie sitting in her car waiting for him. Katie was James' girlfriend. After 4 years, he still doesn't know why she is still
Demons.She begged for death, she begged for pain.
She begged to be anything but herself.
She kept cutting at that soul in her chest.
Kept beating at that demon in her head.
Day in and day out, nothing changed.
"Get me out of here!" she'd scream.
"I can't take this any longer!"
She held on, she waited for a miracle.
Something, anything to make her feel normal.
She begged for love, begged for mercy.
Kill that devil in your mind.
Hurt your body.
"What more do you want!"
That little voice in her head slowly takes over.
They don't love you.
They don't care if you're happy.
Slice, cut, you need a new scar.
Her arms full of bruises and burns.
She tries anything to feel better.
Stop that voice.
new.this isn't new.
it's the best one you have.
it used to be so hard.
now it's typical.
but still amazing.
maybe it is just happiness,
but it's so different;
it's from you.
it's so simple,
yet can be completely difficult.
you never want to lose it,
hoping it doesn't run away.
it scares you sometimes,
but that's nothing new.
depressed.not this again.
here comes the feeling,
you've thought you forgotten.
it wears you down,
til it sees an opening.
it'll eat at your mind,
unless you let it in.
it'll consume you.
it'll tell you what to do.
it'll make you vulnerable;
you're stronger than that though.
much, much stronger.
it's been there before,
it controlled you.
it made you do worse things.
you lost people.
you even lost yourself.
but this time,
it wont get inside of you.
it wont take over.
maybe it is hidden in there,
waiting for a chance to try again.
waiting til you lose track of it.
it'll come when you least expect it;
least need it.
you'll feel crazy.
you'll push people away,
scare them too.
but it wont get out,
you wont show it.
you'll control it.
you're heart is strong enough,
and you'll never go back to it.
it's like an old friend.
but one you never want to talk to.
you think you miss it.
but it's just tricking you.
it'll go away.
you can get rid of it.
not this again.
secretsOne of my secrets has always been you.
I've always truelly loved you.
I never told anyone
BecauseI was afraid
Of what might happened.
I should of spoke up.
Now your with her
And you look so happy,
But have you seen me,
Or even noticed me!?
I've been all alone
For quite some times.
Sitting in my room
With know one to talk to,
And nothing to do.
I thought of calling you
But afraid of what you might say.
I'm not sure if you're still with her.
I can't build up the courage to ask.
I finally found out you
Haven't been with her for a very long time.
All this time
You could have been mine.
If I would have said something
Or if you would have noticed how I've been.
it barely even bleedsI didn't do it for pain
I didn't do it for any reason
I did it because i wanted to add more
I feel like a retard..
I think they're pretty
So I had to add more
Please don't do it to yourself
You do it way deeper than I will ever
And you know what i'm talking about
But what ever I do
Don't do it to yourself
Because your filled with hate and anger as it is
I don't want to find out you were in the hospital,
Or buried under the ground
I'd cry til my tears run dry
Don't worry about me
When I do it
It barely even bleeds.
And I just want to tell you
Know matter what you do
I'm always here
I wont critisize you
I wont get mad
I will listen to you
And I will try my hardest to help
But don't do anything horrible
Like small ones is fine
But it doesn't mean I want you to
But I will understand
And don't tease your cuts with that oh so pretty tack
Because they will get worse
I love you
And i'm sorry
But I hope you understand
Besides there fine
There little scrapes
That won't even scar
nobodyNobody I know is having problems
Knowing what their pupose to life is,
Their all fine
Non of them even think of that.
Nobody cares about
Because they all think they must
Like the opposite sex no matter what.
Nobody else cares why they
Need... have... or deserve friends
Because things like friendship just happens.
They are all caught up
On school, make-up, guys and love
When the truth is
No one even can define the word "love".
what if?You say everyone
Has a perfect match
To help light the match.
A person to make
Their dreams come true.
A lover who
Loves them too.
You say when you find them,
You'll just know.
And you won't be able
To let them go.
And you'll never find
A love that true.
Well what if that person
For me is you?
just friendshipJust friends.
Best friends for life.
But, I never realized the truth.
The feelings you held inside.
Never would've thought of this.
It's something everyone else knew, but I missed.
You were my shoulder, my voice of reason,
My extra push that I always needed.
My first person to go to, always
But then, you told me that one life changing day
It scared me so I ran away... from it.
The thoughts filled my head.
It felt dead.
I thought we'd lose our friendship
Lose all those memories.
All those times we'd never forget.
I thought and thought and then accepted it.
You told me the truth and didn't deny it.
You were truthful, sensitive, and understanding when i ran.
You never got mad, and stayed my friend.
You truly are the best of my friends.
Even when I wasn't to pretend.
You know when it's real, and when it's not.
You told me what your heart felt, and I accepted the truth.
I denied it, tryed to hide it, but it always came back to me.
That your love for me is more than just frienshi
MaskShe wears a mask like it’s nothing.
Sometimes I forget it was made by demons.
I forget there’s a person living behind it.
Bridge ClosedIn the city of spires
thrust upward through the body of cloud
a piercing spike of adrenalin,
as the wind fondly ruffles her hair,
doesn't stop her from jumping up.
Reaching to be seen or saved,
by a city that blinks and misses her -
a temporary peak on the skyline.
Doesn't stop her from slamming
into the steel slashes
of the trainline below.
Even the most beautiful places
to those blinded by the inside-out-agony
of breathing against their will.
The city of spires remember her
as the cause for a bridge closed
on a Sunday.
Poem for My 2nd Semester English Teacher(Short v.)You stapled these words to the page.
Like a modern day tyrant,
You denied them the little humanity
You trapped their souls into
And threw them to the curb,
I understand that certain things
Should be left Inhuman
But we even give hurricanes names.
You taught us to separate the person from the art,
But if the art is about that person, you can’t pull them apart
Raspy Hill"I don't quite feel like myself."
I haven't for a while now.
My mind seems displaced,
Like it's wandered too far away.
"I've been having strange dreams lately."
Images of strange creatures dance in my sleep.
I don't know them but I know they are malicious.
What do they want?
"But now you're here and I'll make you feel right at home."
My saviour, my protector.
You'll guard me from this evil.
"Welcome to Raspy Hill."
This is my hell.
And you'll join me.
I'll make sure of it.
"Enjoy your stay."
FlamesThere are flames where
his head should be -
a poem left in the fireplace,
a dressing gown, a pipe,
forty pieces of silver.
This man promised you a winter
so warm and bountiful
spring would be ashamed.
He called you by name -
not the one that father knew
shoved under his bible.
But the one left behind
in the branches,
in the bucket of brambles,
and the columbines
buried at your feet.
Stones on the battlefield,
surrender in the grass.
What did his face
even look like behind the curtain,
counting those coins
and loosening the damp earth
from your shoes?
a love poemlike a dictionary ripe
with salted, sun spotted
words that emanate power
and splendor, i am unable
to describe you.
FriendshipFriendship is a tapestry
Woven through the years
With threads of joy and laughter
Happiness and tears
It's a work of art so priceless
It's shared by a precious few
Yet so easily created
By a loving friend like you
each one of us carries cemeteries beneath our skinyou are not the only one
to walk like there are
who looks both ways
before crossing the road
"knew a girl who";
you are alive
and you will experience
hurt, and you will
be so thankful
for every painful breath you take
because it's better than when
everything goes quiet
and all you feel is exhaustion.
there is more than just
one cold snap
before you enter
the winter of your life.
there are spells
of sadness and rage,
hate and denial
of all that you know
and all that you deserve;
and you are not the only one
to fight for everyday you are here,
alive and breathing
and striving to thrive
on such an unforgiving planet,
in such a world
that births emotional deserts
in its people;
you are not the only one
a friend like youWritten with a pen, sealed with a kiss
If you are my friend, please answer me this:
Are we friends, or are we not?
You told me once, but I forgot,
So tell me now, and tell me true,
So i can say, I'm here for you.
Of all my friends I've ever met,
You're the one I wont forget,
And if i die before you do
I'll go to heaven and wait for you.
I'll give the angels back their wings,
and risk the loss of everything.
There isn't a thing i wouldn't do
To have a friend just like you.
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More